Medal Monday #1

Let's talk about this past weekend's race shall we? Because it went as well as the rest of my 2019 training did: fucking awful haha!!

I made the comment about 30 minutes before the race even started that I wasn't feeling it.  I'm used to pre-race nerves, but this pre-race anxiety was a whole different ballpark. I figured it was a culmination of all the issues I've had since mid December of 2018 so in true Lisa fashion, I ignored it and figured it would work itself out (yeah...sure).

Tangent time: I've been seeing a nutritionist since April of this year and she's done WONDERS for me. One of the things we're trying to get under control are the GI issues I have due to food sensitivities and how that affects me on a day to day, but also how I need to manage food as fuel for running.  It's been a nightmare honestly, trying to figure out the best combo of food, time, and luck to make sure I'm not 2 miles into a run and bad things happen (#runnerproblems).  Which means I've basically run the same route for the entirety of my training because I knew there was a bathroom close by if I needed it. It also means that I experimented with nutrition on EVERY run I've done for the past few months and still haven't found the sweet spot. Anyway...

Procrastinating!

The golden rule of race day: Don't do anything different on race day.  However, I didn't actually HAVE any set type of thing that I had done on my long runs.  I fell back on my tried and true: don't eat anything before (since I had huma gel to get me through) and take some Pepto. This was apparently NOT the correct choice.

Mountains!

By mile 3 I knew any chance I had of this being a "good" race for me, was out the window. I kept going though because I told myself that I usually hate life until after mile 4 and maybe things would even out like they have sometimes in the past.  

They did not.

By mile 5 my stomach was cramping so much that I was actually feeling nauseous.  I tried to stomach some gels and would be rewarded with temporary pain reprieve, but by mile 6 I was actually considering hopping a ride with the EMT's at Mile 7 and getting my first ever DNF.  I grabbed a half a banana at Mile 7 instead and told myself if I had to walk the whole damn thing, I would.

Around Mile 8 I found someone I'd been playing tag with during my run intervals and struck up conversation to keep me distracted. Both of us grew up in the NJ/NY tri-state area so of course we talked about the Yankees (even though he's an Orioles fan) because that's just what I do. I honestly think he kept me motivated for longer than I could have been on my own! Thanks Rob!

Scenery Check

Mile 9 and I got passed by the 2:30 group. Which, to be honest, was a small victory for me that I had managed to stay at a pretty good pace despite the pain.  I tried to see if I had ANYTHING in the reserves I could pull from and stayed with them from miles 9.5-about 11.  The 9:30 pacers were FANTASTIC!! They were doing a much shorter run/walk interval so I stuck with them for as long as I could and they were so motivating and kept me going when I honestly wanted to tap out.

I walked the last 2 miles. The last 3 miles of the course are un-shaded, rolling hills that are very unforgiving. I knew that if I had any chance of actually making it across the line, walking was the way to get there. I saw Brian at the Mile 13 flag, broke down sobbing and didn't even want to cross the line. But I knew I'd come this far, so I shuffle jogged across the finish line (with a calf cramp too because why not?!) and after 2:34:57, I had run the worst race of my life...but I finished it.

As horrible as this race was, I have to look at is as a win (even if I don't feel that way) because I accomplished my two goals:

1. Don't die ✓
2. Finish the race ✓

I now have INSANE motivation though to blow the Wilmington Half out of the water.  And even if I don't, I'll be okay, she says optimistically lying to herself. Either way, I've decided that I'm not going to race in 2020.  I'm still going to run, but I'm going to do it for fun and because I want to, not stressing myself out the way I have been.

Here's to giving the rest of 2019 everything I have so I can focus on fun in 2020!